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Lies
are the foundation of the temptations we face in sex addiction. The devil is a
master liar. Jesus explained,
"He
[Satan] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there
is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a
liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44).
People were first exposed to Satan's lies in the Garden of Eden. Satan
suggested to Eve that God was keeping back good things from her. As Eve started
to doubt God, she lusted for the fruit and sinned. In the same way, Satan
tempts us using combinations of things we desire and lies. If he can get us to
doubt God's goodness through lies, then we're more likely to sin.
An
example of the common sexual temptation:
Satan often tries to convince people that restricting sex to marriage is
outdated and impractical. He tells people (singles & teens, especially) that
God is unfairly withholding sex from them. He tells them that there will be
little or no consequences for having sex outside of marriage and/or looking at
pornography. The result is that many people doubt God's good plan for sex and
give in to fornication, adultery, homosexuality, pornography or many other bad
alternatives. Afterwards, these people discover that the consequences are real
and often much worse than they thought.
Destroy the lies with truth:
The
power of lies is broken by knowing the truth. Jesus said, "If
you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth
and the truth shall make you free"
(John 8:31-32). Spending time studying scripture and silent prayer is therefore
critical for success on the battlefield of temptations. It takes study and
memory work to know the applicable Bible verses for the different temptations we
may face in sex addiction.
As
you read the following lies, ask the Holy Spirit to help you recognize lies you
may have believed. Jesus said of the Holy Spirit,
"He
will guide you into all truth"
(John 16:13). Each lie is answered with a truth from the Bible.
Lie The Truth
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"I'll never get free of sex addiction"
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Jesus died on the
cross so we CAN get free of whatever sin struggle we are involved in. The
Holy Spirit, who raised Christ from the dead, gives life to our mortal body
so we can live in freedom (Romans
8:11,13).
Life through Jesus Christ brings spiritual renewal and a new nature that
enables us to walk in purity, just as Jesus did (2
Corinthians 5:17).
No matter how bad
we may have sinned, we can still come to Jesus and receive forgiveness and
cleansing. Jesus' blood covers all our sins.
Hebrews 6:17-20
affirms that we have hope in Jesus, who is the anchor of our soul. If
you’ve been away from confession, bring these sins to Christ in this holy
sacrament. |
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"Pornography helps my marriage sex life" |
Pornography
destroys a marriage's sex life through lust. Though it may bring a
short-term pleasure, it harms your marriage by supplanting love-inspired
affection with lustful gratification. It’s only a matter of time before
things deteriorate. Lust naturally craves more and more, so you'll find
yourself looking for more exciting outlets when your spouse is unable to
keep up. |
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" I can't live without my porn" (and/or sex sin) |
The enemy wants us
to believe that we cannot survive and enjoy life without a diet of sin. The
truth is that sinful living produces spiritual and ultimately physical
death. True life begins with living according to God’s Spirit, and making
no provision for sin’s fulfillment (Romans
13:14 ,
John 6:63).
We CAN live without sin!
When we obey God
with our sex life, we will experience peace and are best able to reap the
fruits of a healthy marriage (current or future). Sex is not a right given
to every person, but rather, it is a gift from God to every person who
marries. For those who have not married, the challenge is to trust God and
wait on Him for His provision for life, marriage and sex. |
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"God
won't accept me because I keep falling to temptation"
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Satan specializes
in condemnation and despair. Once he entices us to sin, he condemns us for
sinning, telling us we'll never be free. He tells us we'll never be able to
please God. Jesus died so that we have peace with God. God is not angry
with us for sinning, and he longs for us to accept Jesus' offer of
forgiveness and live in the reality of the new life he prepared for us.
Jesus bore all of God's wrath due to us for our sin (Isaiah
53:4-12; Isaiah 54:10).
God will not reject us when we approach him for help.
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"God made me this way" |
God doesn't make
mistakes. He created us good, but we are corrupted from birth by the sinful
nature we inherit from Adam (Romans 5:12). We can become enslaved to sin
when we obey sin's desires (Romans 6:16). When enslaved, it's easy to blame
our bondage on God. When we do this, it seems to free us from the
responsibility for our sin. But, God is not to blame - we are! Steps to
gaining freedom begin with taking responsibility for our sin by confessing
it to God |
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"Forbidden sex is more enjoyable" |
Forbidden sex
enslaves us to lust. For a time, our forays into the forbidden may deliver
pleasure, but soon we'll want more risk, more exposure, more thrill, etc.,
and we'll go deeper into depravity. Our own actions can bring a type of
curse upon ourselves, such that we are unable to enjoy the good things God
has given us. Romans
1:20-32
describes what can happen when we follow the path of depravity. Those who
wait on God for their sexual needs will enjoy lasting pleasure and
contentment (Psalm
36:7-9;
John 4:14).
God's provision meets our needs (Philippians
4:19). |
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"All sex is good" |
God gave us some
very specific guidance on what kind of sex is acceptable. God restricts sex
to marriage between one man and one woman (Mark
10:6-9,
Genesis 2:24). Any sexual activity outside of this context is sin, which
has consequences that in some cases have lifelong effects. God also gave us
specific guidance on nakedness, telling us not to reveal our sexual organs
to any person other than our spouse (Habakkuk
2:14-16, Isaiah 57:8, Ezekiel 23:18).
Pornography exploits nakedness, and it makes God furious! (Ezekiel 23:18). |
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"Christianity teaches that sex is dirty" |
God has given us
the wonderful gift of sex to be enjoyed between a man and a woman in
marriage. Sex in this context is beautiful and pure. When sex is removed
from this context and/or exploited through pornography and other media
tools, it becomes an addictive and destructive practice. The Catholic
Church has a very high view of sexuality. |
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"Pornography doesn't hurt anyone" |
Porn damages the
viewer. Proverbs 6:27 says:
"Can a man scoop
fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?" The
implied answer is "No."
Lusting after people with our eyes and thoughts is equivalent to committing
the sin with them (Matthew 5:28). Porn trains us to practice lust and live
in a fantasy world of evil thoughts. As a result, we burn with insatiable
lust that drives us to seek gratification. The memories resulting from our
porn activities can last a lifetime and damage our ability to enjoy sex in
our marriage. Pornography also can lead us down the destructive path of
perversion. Pedophilia, homosexuality, rape and abuse are just a few of the
many possible activities that porn promotes.
Porn damages the
viewer's family. Your spouse could be devastated if he/she discovers
you've been committing "mental adultery" through porn. He/she may have
difficulty ever trusting you again when they discover your secret life. It
could take years for you to re-learn how to love your spouse and eliminate
the stranglehold lust has on you. You may have to relearn how to have sex
in a loving way, since you have become tuned for lust through porn. |
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"Getting married will stop my pornography addiction" |
Marriage can make
porn addiction worse, and porn addiction ruins a marriage's sex life!
There are several reasons for this, but one of the key reasons is that porn
addicts have sexually tuned themselves to respond to lust by porn pictures
and masturbation. Married sex, by design, is to be built on love. Lust and
love are total opposites! The porn addict should break his addiction
before getting married. |
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"God is
unfair and unloving to restrict sex to marriage."
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God is holy, which
means perfect in goodness and righteousness. God also loves us very much.
He proved his love for us by sacrificing Jesus for our sins. God restricted
sex to marriage to protect us from the many sorrows that come with sexual
sin. Sex sin brings spiritual confusion, perversion, bondage, addiction,
destruction of families and a host of other possible side effects. Sex is
so powerful that it can only be safely contained in a loving marriage where
there is lifelong commitment, trust and intimacy. Once we extract sex from
that context, it becomes unstable and easily converts to a lustful endeavor. |
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"Pre-marital sex is OK as long as you're planning to marry the person"
or
"Sex
is Ok as long as you are committed to one another in a monogamous
relationship." |
Whether you are
engaged to be married or are thinking that you will eventually get married,
the fact is that you are not yet married. The Bible is clear about sex
outside of marriage being sin (1
Corinthians 6:9, 2 Corinthians 12:21, Galatians 5:19; Hebrews 13:4;
Colossians 3:5,
Deuteronomy 22:13-28). The consequences of pre-marital sex will include
damaged intimacy in your future marriage. |
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"God
doesn't care about what I do with my body" |
God is deeply
concerned with what we do with our bodies, because our bodies are literally
temples for his Spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 describes this special
function of our bodies and how we are called to honor God by not defiling
our bodies with sexual sin in particular. Sexual sin unites us spiritually
with whatever we're having sex with (physically or mentally). Since God's
Spirit lives in us as Christians, we dishonor our bodies and defile God's
temple through our sexual sin. Keeping our bodies from sexual sin is a
spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1-2). |
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"Lots of sex brings satisfaction and fulfillment" |
Lasting fulfillment
comes from knowing God. When we follow God, He satisfies us with good
things that bring lasting fulfillment (see
Psalm 103:2-5, Psalm
107:9, Psalm 145:16,
Psalm 36:7-9,
John 4:14).
Indulging in sex sin yields lust which is a continual desire for more.
Lust is a total lack of fulfillment. |
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